I Am Not A Writer
Being a writer was always that far off dream for me. Seeing my name on the cover of a novel, doing book signings the whole shebang.
Until I realized that I am a terrible writer. I may not be actually and just overly critical, but I'm also an amateur, no training. Everything I had to write for high school and early college was non-fiction or based off real life. I never took any kind of creative writing classes because I don't think I am a very creative person and yet every year I try and participate in NaNoWriMo.
The only problem I have is that I refuse to send out my works to have other people edit them. I can't even bring myself to let my best friend read my stuff. Because of that self doubt I never finish a project. I have a lot of story ideas, many I think are good until I start writing them. I think to myself "I shouldn't be writing this. Someone else should be writing this. I can't call myself a writer if I've never written anything!" and the cycle continues.
Or I think to myself, this has already been written, someone has already done this story, just in a different way, because I love the stories I read and I the ideas start to flow and all of a sudden I have this new book idea and it's great. So I start writing, just an outline and the idea, and I realize it's too similar to the book I am reading and I can't even come up something new and creative then I delete it all and give up.
So I have this book idea, that is based off a lot of different books that I have read and loved. My favorite setting (the end of the world), but lately there seems to be a lot of that. Which, I know, everyone is doing it why contribute. Or, everyone is doing it, why not me. I keep going back and forth. But I think it might help me to write something that I can combine from favorite books. Have my writing style edited instead of the story and use that to simply help me become a better writer.
Maybe that.
Just a few words a day. Not a whole novel in a month, that is too stressful. Just a little at a time.
For now I have another project to work on.
Until I realized that I am a terrible writer. I may not be actually and just overly critical, but I'm also an amateur, no training. Everything I had to write for high school and early college was non-fiction or based off real life. I never took any kind of creative writing classes because I don't think I am a very creative person and yet every year I try and participate in NaNoWriMo.
The only problem I have is that I refuse to send out my works to have other people edit them. I can't even bring myself to let my best friend read my stuff. Because of that self doubt I never finish a project. I have a lot of story ideas, many I think are good until I start writing them. I think to myself "I shouldn't be writing this. Someone else should be writing this. I can't call myself a writer if I've never written anything!" and the cycle continues.
Or I think to myself, this has already been written, someone has already done this story, just in a different way, because I love the stories I read and I the ideas start to flow and all of a sudden I have this new book idea and it's great. So I start writing, just an outline and the idea, and I realize it's too similar to the book I am reading and I can't even come up something new and creative then I delete it all and give up.
So I have this book idea, that is based off a lot of different books that I have read and loved. My favorite setting (the end of the world), but lately there seems to be a lot of that. Which, I know, everyone is doing it why contribute. Or, everyone is doing it, why not me. I keep going back and forth. But I think it might help me to write something that I can combine from favorite books. Have my writing style edited instead of the story and use that to simply help me become a better writer.
Maybe that.
Just a few words a day. Not a whole novel in a month, that is too stressful. Just a little at a time.
For now I have another project to work on.
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